I just finished reading the wikipedia entry on Kundalini for the umpteenth time. I have to laugh, because all of these people discuss Kundalini as a theoretical concept. They quote "reliable sources" -- and yes, most of them are reliable. And some of the posters might be Kundalini awakened, but they cannot see that they have awakened to their own individual Kundalini and that Kundalini is not the same for everyone.
About the theories? Kundalini is an experiential path. And without experiencing it? It's a little bit like trying to describe what coffee is without ever having taken a sip.
And so the writers write about this guru's quote and that guru's quote. For one thing all the gurus are male and have no idea what a female awakening might be like or how it may differ. I am female and my awakening is not at all like theirs.
Secondly, all the gurus assume that unifying shakta and shiva through the 7th chakra to achieve enlightenment is the only way to go. It's not. There is a fourth chakra model of Kundalini enlightenment -- in which energy is drawn down from the 7th chakra and up from the first chakra and unites at the 4th chakra -- to experience awakening on this plane -- not another. This view is more Buddhist -- a view in which we are meant to reach enlightenment through compassion for others.
I can understand why men miss it. And many women. They are so convinced that they are meant to transcend this plane -- the Hinayana/Nirvana concept of transcendence, that they completely ignore the possibility that because we are in bodies, on this planet, that our Kundalini awakening may be meant to be in and of this world.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
How does a spontaneous Kundalini awakening happen?
What does a Kundalini spontaneous awakening mean? It means I didn’t look for it, I didn’t know it wasn’t happening and in the beginning I didn’t have vaguest idea of what I was going through.
Heck, I was an atheist. “God” was a far-off concept that baffled me. You know, the standard questions. How could there be a "God" with all the suffering? With all the injustice? How could some divine spirit look down over this mess we/she/he created and not do something?
But, as it turns out, I think there is now. A divine spirit, that is. Why? Kundalini is not a secular situation. If you don’t believe in anything bigger than you and you awake Kundalini, there’s a good likelihood you’ll end up in a mental institution or seriously medicated.
Kundalini, once ignited, is the jet propulsion practice of spirituality.
“Hello, welcome to Kundalini! You will be working through all your psychological issues today…and for the rest of your life. The goal will be to resolve and let go of them in order to align yourself with the path of a greater power. You will have some astonishing insights, and if you translate them into your life you will make tremendous progress toward your goal. Once you have solved one problem, you will have another to solve. If you fight this process -- and believe me almost everyone does to some extent -- well, there's going to be some pain to be honest with you...actually, a lot of pain...sorry!
"All of this will be controlled by Goddess Kundalini – an upward driving force that will be working its way through your system with the force of a fire hose turned up to full.
"It is likely that some of you will find you have some unusual capabilities once you are awakened. You may find yourself with psychic capabilities. Or you may be able to move energy around – in people or objects. If you decide to develop these capabilities – it would be wise to use them with good intention. After all, remember that “karma” is now your middle name!”
Note that not everyone experiences Kundalini this way. K is a very individualized process unique to each individual experiencing it. Most likely the only single commonality is that driving upward force in one's system that resembles nothing else.
So why was I "awakened?" Particularly since I had no desire to do that?
There are a few theories around spontaneous awakenings. Someone has recently been exploring the connection between Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – particularly chronic PTSD, in which category I fit -- and the awakening of Kundalini. Chronic PTSD comes from a long term abuse situation where the subject can’t process the trauma – as in childhood abuse.
It seems logical if you think about it. If you were abused or neglected on a regular basis by your parents and were punished for having any emotional reaction around that – you have stashed that emotional energy somewhere in your body. Well accepted therapies now acknowledge that we may stash emotional “memory” in muscles and even bones, and massage may be recommended for those who are trying to resolve childhood trauma.
But if you can’t resolve it at all or ever – well, it’s stuck in there. And the longer it’s stuck, the more that pressure-cooker energy builds up in your system.Some people with chronic abuse histories get sick, some people get depressed, and finally some people (I have some theories as to who) will finally HAVE to process it. The energy will explode out of their systems – forcing them to deal with what they’ve denied until now. The explosion is Kundalini.
I spent 45 years denying I had any problems. I’ve spent 15 years with Kundalini processing my past and those problems. (I am hoping it does not take another 30 years.) About a month ago I finally began to forgive my parents. That was a huge relief. And there is no way I could have gotten there if it hadn’t been for Kundalini. No matter how much therapy I did it wouldn’t have been enough.
In Kundalini one of the parallel theories to the psych one is that we have a container in our first chakra (the bottom one at the coccyx) that holds all our unexplored potential, unresolved trauma, unexpressed joys…etc. As long as the container is sealed all those things remain in homeostasis – balanced – we deal somehow. But if the container gets disturbed or overtaxed – it ruptures and releases that energy upward. This is the image of the Kundalini “serpent” uncoiling, raising its head and shooting its rays upward when Kundalini is awakened. In order to release the potential part – first you’ll have to resolve the trauma.
Heck, I was an atheist. “God” was a far-off concept that baffled me. You know, the standard questions. How could there be a "God" with all the suffering? With all the injustice? How could some divine spirit look down over this mess we/she/he created and not do something?
But, as it turns out, I think there is now. A divine spirit, that is. Why? Kundalini is not a secular situation. If you don’t believe in anything bigger than you and you awake Kundalini, there’s a good likelihood you’ll end up in a mental institution or seriously medicated.
Kundalini, once ignited, is the jet propulsion practice of spirituality.
“Hello, welcome to Kundalini! You will be working through all your psychological issues today…and for the rest of your life. The goal will be to resolve and let go of them in order to align yourself with the path of a greater power. You will have some astonishing insights, and if you translate them into your life you will make tremendous progress toward your goal. Once you have solved one problem, you will have another to solve. If you fight this process -- and believe me almost everyone does to some extent -- well, there's going to be some pain to be honest with you...actually, a lot of pain...sorry!
"All of this will be controlled by Goddess Kundalini – an upward driving force that will be working its way through your system with the force of a fire hose turned up to full.
"It is likely that some of you will find you have some unusual capabilities once you are awakened. You may find yourself with psychic capabilities. Or you may be able to move energy around – in people or objects. If you decide to develop these capabilities – it would be wise to use them with good intention. After all, remember that “karma” is now your middle name!”
Note that not everyone experiences Kundalini this way. K is a very individualized process unique to each individual experiencing it. Most likely the only single commonality is that driving upward force in one's system that resembles nothing else.
So why was I "awakened?" Particularly since I had no desire to do that?
There are a few theories around spontaneous awakenings. Someone has recently been exploring the connection between Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – particularly chronic PTSD, in which category I fit -- and the awakening of Kundalini. Chronic PTSD comes from a long term abuse situation where the subject can’t process the trauma – as in childhood abuse.
It seems logical if you think about it. If you were abused or neglected on a regular basis by your parents and were punished for having any emotional reaction around that – you have stashed that emotional energy somewhere in your body. Well accepted therapies now acknowledge that we may stash emotional “memory” in muscles and even bones, and massage may be recommended for those who are trying to resolve childhood trauma.
But if you can’t resolve it at all or ever – well, it’s stuck in there. And the longer it’s stuck, the more that pressure-cooker energy builds up in your system.Some people with chronic abuse histories get sick, some people get depressed, and finally some people (I have some theories as to who) will finally HAVE to process it. The energy will explode out of their systems – forcing them to deal with what they’ve denied until now. The explosion is Kundalini.
I spent 45 years denying I had any problems. I’ve spent 15 years with Kundalini processing my past and those problems. (I am hoping it does not take another 30 years.) About a month ago I finally began to forgive my parents. That was a huge relief. And there is no way I could have gotten there if it hadn’t been for Kundalini. No matter how much therapy I did it wouldn’t have been enough.
In Kundalini one of the parallel theories to the psych one is that we have a container in our first chakra (the bottom one at the coccyx) that holds all our unexplored potential, unresolved trauma, unexpressed joys…etc. As long as the container is sealed all those things remain in homeostasis – balanced – we deal somehow. But if the container gets disturbed or overtaxed – it ruptures and releases that energy upward. This is the image of the Kundalini “serpent” uncoiling, raising its head and shooting its rays upward when Kundalini is awakened. In order to release the potential part – first you’ll have to resolve the trauma.
Friday, March 26, 2010
A Beginning
I woke up 15 years ago. I didn't want to wake up, but I didn't have much choice about it.
In started like this.
I was lying in bed in Key West, Florida and about 1500 miles to the north my elderly father was lying in a hospital bed somewhere in New Jersey.
As I started to drift off, I heard a voice in my head saying "I'm afraid." I was startled enough to begin to wake up. I heard the voice again: "I'm afraid." And then I knew. I don't why I knew. I'd never heard voices before. But I knew then that the voice belonged to my father and I knew that he was dead.
And somehow I also knew that he was stuck. Stuck in the limbo of being dead but not being able to leave this all behind.
I don't know why I said "Dad, you have to go to the light." Why did I say that? I knew about people who'd seen the "light" in near death experiences. I'd read some Kubler-Ross. But this came spontaneously -- as though it was born in my thoughts without any prompting from me.
The voice/my father repeated: "I'm afraid."
And I knew he needed some help. So I volunteered.
"Okay Dad. I'll take you. Come...we'll go the light together."
And in my strange vision, I walked my father to the light. And when we stood there, both of us bathed in the brilliant white light, I let go of his hand and he walked in. I stood in the light for a few seconds and then came out -- returned to my bed in Key West, Florida and began to shake.
15 minutes later the phone call came: My father was dead.
Two months later I experienced a spontaneous Kundalini awakening. But what else would you expect if you walk to the light while you're still alive? A burger and fries?
In started like this.
I was lying in bed in Key West, Florida and about 1500 miles to the north my elderly father was lying in a hospital bed somewhere in New Jersey.
As I started to drift off, I heard a voice in my head saying "I'm afraid." I was startled enough to begin to wake up. I heard the voice again: "I'm afraid." And then I knew. I don't why I knew. I'd never heard voices before. But I knew then that the voice belonged to my father and I knew that he was dead.
And somehow I also knew that he was stuck. Stuck in the limbo of being dead but not being able to leave this all behind.
I don't know why I said "Dad, you have to go to the light." Why did I say that? I knew about people who'd seen the "light" in near death experiences. I'd read some Kubler-Ross. But this came spontaneously -- as though it was born in my thoughts without any prompting from me.
The voice/my father repeated: "I'm afraid."
And I knew he needed some help. So I volunteered.
"Okay Dad. I'll take you. Come...we'll go the light together."
And in my strange vision, I walked my father to the light. And when we stood there, both of us bathed in the brilliant white light, I let go of his hand and he walked in. I stood in the light for a few seconds and then came out -- returned to my bed in Key West, Florida and began to shake.
15 minutes later the phone call came: My father was dead.
Two months later I experienced a spontaneous Kundalini awakening. But what else would you expect if you walk to the light while you're still alive? A burger and fries?
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